So why is December 17th memorable to me? First of all it’s my youngest child’s birthday and second of all it’s the day Tumblr put into place its rules of banning adult content. Some might not think that the latter should be a big deal as there’s plenty of places to get free porn on the internet, but to women and the LBGTQ community it was a game changer as we were once again marginalized after finding a place to freely own and express our sexuality. We became red headings and pixelated avatars.
I live in a fairly buttoned up world in real life, I work in Corporate America, I am a mom of two, I behave well in normal society and giggle when my friends tell me that “50 Shades of Grey” seems a little out there. I wear ballet flats and shift dresses and padded bras that hide my pierced nipples. You’d walk by me on the street and think isn’t she a happy soccer mom. But then there’s the girl….
And she cannot tell her friends without their looks of horror that she likes her ass beaten with a leather wrapped ruler as foreplay or to be bound with her fur lined cuffs or that she sashays around her house with a fox tail affixed to her ass via an anal plug or that anal is prefered form of sex. No, she lives in the vanilla world and that’s frowned upon or simply not allowed.
But on Tumblr, it was not only allowed, it was embraced by other women just like me. We were professionals or moms or wives or girls gaining body confidence one post at a time, We were careful and protected our identities and desperately wanted a place we felt safe and where we felt “normal”.
We were able to freely express our kinks without judgment and even further develop them. For instance, I never knew of my fox tail fetish until I saw one affixed to a woman who would later become one of my closest friends on the site. I remember the day she posted a picture of herseif in a black corset and black tail and nothing else and the fur contrasted so beautifully against her pale skin and I messaged her that “I must have one of those.” From then I was in love and probably the kink factory’s biggest customer.
When I went on Tumblr my second time and became “the girl” I never expected to post my own content or a photo of myself, But I learned I had a voice through those posts and value and I needed to express my sexuality as it was important to me. I also learned that one of my kinks was that I was an exhibitionist and that each photo was a rush. The photos were not for anyone else’s enjoyment but my own and I really started to look at myself as worthy.
So today I am taking the girl back as I do not know where she and I end but I know she is sure a ton of fun and still has a lot to say…