The decision to be a Swinger was never one I consciously made. I was not raised in the scene, but I have very simple and moral code when it comes to sex. I don’t think monogamy is natural.
I do believe that people choose life partners that they want to treat ethically, honestly and raise children with and that sex with that partner may be amazing, so-so or non-existent.
I can honestly say that I see sex as transactional versus my marriage. And no I am not naive, I believe I fuck my husband versus a romanticized theory of making love. We fuck each other very well and quite frequently.
But like any relationship the newness, the flirting and the chase wears off and you get used to each other’s patterns, so why not add someone to the mix if you both know about it and consent to it? Talk about it and re-enact it.
My husband and I are both voyeurs (I just happen to be equal exhibitionist) and I can say without jealousy that I was turned on watching another woman suck his cock until he came. It was better than porn to see him finger her and suck her tits. I didn’t feel less of a woman or wife to see that, I felt like his equal.
Other reasons I am drawn to swinging is I identify as heteroflexible and my husband quite simply does not have a pussy for me to play with and I would like to experiment with pegging and he has already informed me of his lack of interest as I stroke my realistic strap on that I am so partial to.
But most of all, I appreciate the code as it’s not relationship based. You are there to get off and your primary relationship is that, primary. It’s just likeminded people understanding that sex is sex and that’s all you are in it for.
Plus, my husband asked me to go to a swingers club…
– The Girl
The Girl You'd Never Guess 