Words I Have Uttered Before…

So after 14 hours of solid sleep, I informed my husband this morning “thank God I haven’t sworn off alcohol” and “I need to get my toes done.” Both are due to a cocktail party we are going to tonight for likeminded individuals at a local speakeasy.

I have been looking forward to it for weeks (seriously weeks!). My outfit, as it’s a cocktail appropriate event, has been picked out with care and the toes are necessity in my 4″ open toed wedges. I cannot wait to feel pretty and sexy in clothes for a change.

But why the alcohol comment? Well let’s just say The Girl had yet another shit day at the place she regularly refers to as the shitshow and the first bar wasn’t enough on Wednesday. On my drive home, I realized there was still 45 minutes in my daughter’s dance lesson and called the husband to meet me for a drink.

“A drink” is famous last words for The Girl.

I am always going out for a drink. My kids think that is code for I will be home in 3-4 hours but it’s always my intent. And when the bartender told me that the bottle of the glass I had on Monday was half price, how could I turn him down on such a value?

I continued on my alcohol spiral and met a lovely realtor who also had a day where she had “zero fucks left to give.” And I was happy.

I went home in a great mood thinking I was getting my bottom spanked and then my daughter started on me on how embarrassing I am, how I should behave better (in my own home as I danced to Drake) and she just doesn’t get me.

Well I had enough of her and the tone she feels I deserve and I decided to go to my friend’s house to stay. But first I played demolition derby on my trash can that was left in the street. Pinky Teska Darrow has nothing on me. And as I drove down the street, I had the sense to realize that maybe she should pick me up.

From there, I went to her house and went swimming at 1 am in borrowed bathing suit bottoms. And as I slept in her guest room for four hours, I knew the next day I’d have to face the boss I abhor and my child.

Work went fine as two Xanax can do that for you and will be my new daily routine as my boss likes me like a robot and not this passionate woman who fights to continually make the place better and empower her team.

And then I went home to an “I love you mommy” sign on the door, my latest eBay finds that were beautiful and a couch that I collapsed on in sheer fatigue.

The world looks completely different today as my toes are drying and I am meeting a friend for a drink prior to that cocktail party…

The Girl

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