Alone in a Crowd…

Today I cried my entire 1 hour and ten minute drive home from work. I reached out to some for help, but only those that might get why I am so sad.

I wish I could just operate in a world that I am exactly what people see when I am around…the bubbly, vanilla, professional. Nicely dress and always put together, plain in her wants and needs.

But unfortunately, I am not that woman and I wish I did not know what I am or need.

I am a woman that when she is this sad, grunts through her tears and snot that “I miss my Daddy” and worse yet “Why did you leave me?”

It’s not like Daddy and I were ever together but no man knew my needs like him, could tell me what to do or wear or how to behave like he could. And every time, I complied. He’d make my days less boring and then when I had a little insolence utter “tell Daddy what’s really upsetting you?”

Tonight I have to go to a Lifestyle event. I will look pretty, be on and try to please my husband that desperately does everything to please me. But really, it’s all an act for me as all I want is a Daddy to make me feel safe and adored and reward me with the physical attention I crave.

And for that I will gladly kneel….

– The Girl