Me vs. The Algorithm

Gossan dirt, whispered to the nodding head
Thrilled you fell apart, instead of them
But they will
Any hope for love can be killed
If you need a different face, it’s definite time to destroy this place
Any thought could be the beginning of the brand new tangled web you’re spinning
Anyone could be a brand new love

– Sebadoh

In this corner is an algorithm that despises nipples and self-posted content of a sexual nature but allows porn gifs regularly. And in the opposite corner is a sometimes stunningly hot middle aged woman who likes to show off her attributes. Who will win the Battle of the Nipple?

Seriously I have a love hate relationship with Tumblr. I see how I respond to pictures of cuffs, rope marks, blindfolds and spankings and am so grateful to be in tune with what turns me on. That rush I get from seeing sensuality and pleasure is worth the site’s shortcomings. I love that Tumblr has allowed me to articulate the needs and desires that I couldn’t quite verbalize for many years and that it made me feel normal to have them.

But then there’s the Tumblr that blocks a picture of me in bra and panties because there’s a hint of nipple. I hate that Tumblr.

I made a decision at one point in my Tumblr journey to focus more on self-produced content than reblogs. It was the first place I shared my journey in the lifestyle and the growing body confidence I had discovered through the site.

One of my most successful posts, judging mostly by interaction in the comments than reblogs or likes, was an essay on how I have come to love every aspect of my body whether it was the ass that no one ever got to see or my nipples that I only adored post piercings. I wrote openly about my body and how I was grateful for the pleasure it provided and how I no longer viewed it comparison to others. Although it had pictures of my naked body parts, it was more a celebration of my confidence and sexuality. It has since been removed by Tumblr as offensive content.

And this “hatred” has fueled a creativity that I sometimes question why I even extend the effort. Like why do i give this any of my seemingly less available fucks to give?

But instead of focusing on world peace, I have learned how to place flower stickers on select body parts, blur those taboo areas, and what sexual toys are too prime time for a site well known for NSFW posts.

And then the other day, I hit rock bottom and turned myself into a cartoon. Yes, you read correctly, A CARTOON. And if you are wondering, yes there’s an app for that.

I was consumed with a burning fight to beat that algorithm and I reduced myself to a caricature to do just that. And sadly, my euphoria is short lived as only one of the four cartoons was not later flagged as adult content within the past two days.

Tumblr may have won this battle, but this Girl may still win the War…

– The Girl

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