And all I can think is that it must be a kind of rebellion
To arm your fears like soldiers and slay them
– The Airborne Toxic Event
So I have been on my own for two months now and I am starting to realize that I shouldn’t have been so afraid to start life on my own terms.
I always worried that I wouldn’t know what to do in certain situations such as minor repairs or even major ones.
In these past months, I have learned to grill, inflate my tires, snake a toilet, rake a yard and coordinated all things home. Most importantly, I have learned that I needed the control over my life that I had surrender as a married person.
I no longer have to wait for something to happen, I control the when and how it does. And I love that sense of ownership.
I have learned that I don’t want to ask permission on how to decorate or what I buy for the house. It’s on me to pay for it and as such I don’t have to seek compromise.
I am proud of the fact that when I notice something wrong with the car that I promptly trouble shoot and even fix it myself. Like I am capable of taking care of shit quickly and not letting it fester as I request repeatedly another person for help.
What I realized the most in the past few months is there are things you never want to do just on your own. Like sex is definitely better with another person but in a pinch (or in my case daily basis) it can be handled on your own.
But most other things you can take care of with a little effort, the google and a credit card.
I may never cohabitate again, but one thing is for sure I do miss the feel of a man’s lips grazing mine and the weight of their body on me. So, yes I would eventually like to spend some quality time temporarily sharing space, laughs and bodily fluids.
But one thing is for certain, they shouldn’t get too comfortable at MY place…
– The Girl