No fans allowed….

I bet you think this is going to be a political treatise about our post pandemic world, but au contraire non frère. THIS is about my rejection by “only fans” for my recent account request.

I wanted to go to their site as I missed the good old days of tumblr. I wanted a safe spot to post indecent pictures of me and funnily enough was not going to charge for content.

I don’t judge anyone who does charge but for me it was never about money. It was about the rush. That feeling of sexiness of seeing me on my tumblr feed.

Additionally, I never wanted this to become a transactional relationship as honestly I didn’t want to take “requests” nor have to enable a customer service department in my land of naughty.

So I applied for my account and they rejected me due to the fact that: a) my selfie didn’t match my drivers licensor, b) I didn’t link to a social media account and c) they don’t allow nudity or adult content in headers.

I can understand that my new haircut and ten year age difference between current and drivers license “me” might throw them for a loop. I don’t recall them asking for a social media account so that’s a “my bad”. I am sure my tumblr followers might vouch for me in a pinch.

But no nudity or adult content in their headers? What the fuck kind of rule is that when you can tie it to your pornhub account?

So maybe they did me a favor by declining my request. But my empty page is crying out for naked me….

– The Girl