Today while perusing tumblr, I came across a beautifully crafted erotic photo of a woman in white cotton panties and a finger just lingering on the outside of where the folds of her labia started. It was intimate in its black and white simplicity.
And then I saw the caption “Who’s?” by a dominant I follow to his submissive that I also follow. They have what looks to be an amazingly safe, consensual and loving D/s relationship from my outsider point of view. I have admired it for years from afar.
Immediately upon seeing it, my body temperature and blood pressure rose. And then I had flashbacks to the man who informed me in his elegant English accent that “he owned me” and that I was “his property” as he proceeded to bite my skin and genitals.
I do not think he intended to illicit this reaction, pure panic and dread, from me. But alas it still does to see those images.
After what I refer to the “unfortunate incident” occurred, an older gentleman that I met off fetlife recently texted me prior to us ever meeting that “he owned me”.
I recall vividly that I was in Key West, it was a Saturday night on Duval Street and I was enjoying a cheese board and glass of wine with friends en route to a wonderful meal and I read that message on my phone.
The panic started, tears ebbed from my eyes and I asked that man to “stop” if he ever wanted to meet me. Thankfully he did after reminding me that they were two different people.
I think my bodily response is a good thing. Fear and anxiety are excellent tools when harnessed to keep us from things that could hurt us.
I plan to continue to listen to it for awhile to come as the only thing I blame myself from the “unfortunate incident” is that I didn’t listen to my gut…
– The Girl