Vanilla Dating

And if my heart was a car, you would have stripped it down and sold it off
To the greasy man in the salvage lot

– The Old 97’s

So recently I went out with a man and we had a great time at my local wine bar. We talked, we laughed and had the hug goodnight.

It was nice going out with a man that had impeccable grammar and a high compatibility score on Eharmony.

I didn’t think anything of it when I mentioned I have Apple TV and he asked if I ever watched Ted Lasso. I mentioned my son and I used to watch it together but I hadn’t gotten very far.

We texted after the date and I mentioned that it was too bad it was supposed to be so cold that next weekend as it would be fun to grab a beer at the local brewery after my son’s hockey game. (Note to readers, son wouldn’t be included.)

His response…”No Ted?”

And I was confused as my first thought was he didn’t seem like the threesome type and I don’t know anyone named Ted. So I mentioned I needed a “Netflix and chill” night as I really did and he said “but aren’t you going to invite me over for Ted Lasso?”

And like a nice person I did.

We had pizza, really nice beer, four episodes of Ted and a hug goodbye. And then it hit me, he was only into my Apple TV subscription. Not me.

I joked when caught by my son that I had binged two seasons of Ted when he was at his dads that I watched Ted with another man that “I get being used for sex but never for a premium TV channel”

And my son’s response was priceless…”that’s a new low Mama.” And the boy is completely right! So I canceled my Eharmony profile and watched Ted with my boy….

– The Girl


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