Yesterday was the continuation of a shitty Sunday. I broke up with my beloved local store that I have been a loyal customer for 11 years. Enough was enough of being viewed as a dependable spender, I am worth more than that.
Ladies, this is the equivalent of breaking up with your hairstylist. I didn’t behave pretty and for that I will be embarrassed. But what done is done.
Then I was dumped by my diet app when I asked about a charge to my account. They answered my question through their automated email and then I got the “we are canceling your account per your request” message. I have told them multiple times I just want to talk it out and still realize I am fighting to be in a relationship with my diet app that clearly doesn’t want me.
Next I had to deal with the norm of bad behaviors at work where people didn’t learn to play nicely in the sandbox in kindergarten and our management is more concerned about what time you arrive, how you park and what you wear than how you do your job and that we aren’t making plan. Who knew I was a near 50 millennial in my thinking that results trump appearance?
So I was looking forward to my happy place, the naked beach, where no one bothers me and I can enjoy my handmade cocktail with the sun on my skin. But the weather gods decided, that was not to be as it was raining and 64 degrees. Fucking weather gods, why did you forsake me!
I am never to be deterred as I was going to end my shit 36 hours on a high note even if it meant watching the rain hit the lake from a windowed perch with a watered down version of my cocktail.
So I arrived and sat near the only other person who must have the same plan go awry and we chatted. And not that I was looking for anything from this person but I realized I couldn’t hold their attention.
It was like being with my husband when he looks at his phone versus talking to me and I just try to turn on my enthusiasm even more. It’s cloying and frankly unattractive. I know it but it never stops me.
I decided to drive home, have an amazing cry and go to my local bar to read my phone and figure out what I wanted to do to change my day.
And there I remember why so many of my friends always told me a bad marriage is better than being single as at least you have someone.
And on the perch in the suburban strip mall all by myself, I realized I was most happy there alone in my thoughts.
So today a new day begins and we shall see if it’s better than before, but at least I am 0.4 lbs lighter…
– The Girl
The bad days make the most noise, the better days are more quiet.
That noise doesn’t make the bad days any more important. Better days will come.
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I think you need the bad days to appreciate the highs of the good days.