Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower.
We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.￼
– William Wordsworth
I have been in a funk, there’s no other way to describe it. Maybe there should be another word for it when it’s lasted for years, but funk is what I am settling on.
I feel disconnected to my home due to my work commute, children’s busy schedule and recent business travel. A stranger in their lives and mine.
The lifestyle is draining me and I took our name out of consideration for a fancy LS event as I really couldn’t get up the energy to go through their “vetting process”. The next step in the process was to send full to 3/4 length PG rated pictures. This was seriously starting to remind me of a Disney ride line but sadly without the gift shop and video on loop.
The photo request was my last straw as this girl who is height weight proportional and didn’t quite understand how that indicated if I could conduct a conversation nor behave properly at a five course dinner. I have been to highly “curated” parties and l left without shedding more than my coat so their vetting of me was getting old.
Last night, (I hope) I hit rock bottom as I just willed myself through my son’s hockey game. I have no problem with losing, we are used to it, I am just tired of a program that does not emphasize proper positioning or any physicality. The teams we play seem to have this down in spades.
As I sat on my hotel bed, I quietly cried and my husband suggested a cocktail. He’s the master of yelp and found a cute little bar near our hotel. My husband and I are different drinkers, he’s adventurous. Living on the edge for me is I may call my gin in my G&T and make sure the tonic is not too tonicky.
We sat there for hours and just discussed everything from kik buddies to how we miss the adventures of one of my chat buddies. We looked at mattresses and hotels for our vacation.
I blew my husband’s mind when I just suggested we change up the vacation in lieu of spending a fortune on a dinky room with no view for four people. The girl has been accused of being set in her ways but honestly I am flexible if communication is good.
We watched the snow and slowly eased out of the disconnect. We went back to our small room we share with our teen children and fucked quietly in the bathroom…
– The Girl